Understanding Conflict Between Ministry Leaders

In the real world, not everything goes well, not everyone is happy, there is always bad news as well as good, troubled waters as well as smooth.Very few ministry leaders fail because of their inability to deal with success. Typically, failure in ministry results from an inability to deal with problems.Conflict  resolution within the church can be very difficult.  Some action, even if that is deliberate non action, must take place. 

Lets take a look at the 5 basic principles of conflict; 

  

1. Conflict is normal and not all conflict is  
  bad.

Some conflict is creative and has real positive uses. Sometimes its just a matter of differing life styles or opinions. Resolved properly these can be very use full

2. Good conflict may deepen superficial relationships

Many times relationships are very shallow and people never get close enough to ever even have a conflict.  Very often when a disagreement occurs the relationship between the two parties deepen, because they have come to know each other better. 

3. Personal growth often occurs through dissonance

Dissonance simply means lack of agreement.   Growth often occurs because the social  turbulence causes people to look for  resolution there fore resulting in personal growth.

Within the body of Christ and among men and women of goodwill, conflict is common, not always bad, and can have positive outcomes.

Scripture offer many examples of conflict in the new testament

  

4. A model of advocacy may appear to be contention when it is not    
    really conflict

This can be an effective way to reach decisions.  If a group in a room brings together their own  passionate opinions and each expresses  them strongly. A disagreement can result.

But done correctly and in humility the end can result in a balanced and successfully outcome and decision.

5. There is a Biblical pattern for resolving conflict.

Matthew 18-15,16 gives a pattern for resolving conflict. 

 ¹⁵ “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’^{[a] 17} And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Five Basic Causes of Conflict

1. Conflict is frequently because of  unmatched expectations

These can lead to disappointment which leads to loss of confidence, and can arise from misunderstandings.

A different set of expectations of a leader, program, style, etc is a certain recipe for conflict

2. Conflict is caused by the mounting number of buried hurts,  
    slights, and insults.

These hurts are often times collected up and saved. Burying feelings , disappointments, personal injuries, etc is  a  deadly illness in the church. It is very unhealthy to bury your hurts..

They will come out someday and in a big way.

Many times conflict between two people in the church is from a gradual buildup of hurt and disappointment

3. A major cause of conflict is unexpressed fears.   (and jealousy)

People may find themselves resisting others because of fears that may have never been expressed.

It is easy to become paranoid in the church. It is easy to be fearful about what might happen in situations involving other Christians.

If these fears are never expressed, they can never be countered, they can never be checked out, so they can never be resolved.

4. Competition for limited resources can cause conflict.

There is never enough money, time or attention in the work of the church. 

Church leaders are many times placed in a situation where there is competition for your time and attention.

The leader must respond by constantly reassuring people in an atmosphere of fairness so that conflict won’t occur

If someone gets the feeling that they  are not valued as highly as someone else, conflict will occur

5. Conflict escalates in a hostile and failing environment.

A psychological study shows that if people or animals are put in situations in which pain is delivered and discomfort is created, individuals or animals will always  turn on each  and start fighting

So basically when things are not going well they just get worse. Conflict will occur and resolve must be obtained.  In a hostile environment people will lash out even when they are not meaning it personally or have any real reason for doing so.

Understanding what causes conflict will help us as leaders to understand how to deal with the problem and what if anything needs to be done at the time. Next time I will ocer how to handle conflict between ministry leaders..